Sunday, 29 August 2010

SUGGESTED READING

I expect most of you have already taken your summer vacation (with the exception of Americans without jobs and those silly Australians who insist on having their summer at completely the wrong time of year). But if you are still to leave on your travels you will, no doubt, be agonising at the moment over which book to take along with you for your poolside reading.

Torment yourself with indecision no longer! Ellie Findlay, literary editor of "The Evangelical Bollocks Review," has emailed me to bring to my attention a book, highly suitable, and most necessary, for the readers of this blog. That is should occupy that space in your suitcase normally reserved for potboilers, soft porn romances and Dan Brown novels, would go without saying if I hadn't already said it.


I have posted above the details of this life-changing opus as they are listed on the UK AMAZON site. However, for a proper appreciation of this book you simply must visit the US AMAZON site and read the comments etc.

At £41.79 (or $135.00 in the US) this book may appear at first to be slightly overpriced. But on closer inspection you will discover the reason for the high price - each copy is individually crayoned, in BLOCK CAPITALS, by the author herself, AND BY HAND!
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23 comments:

  1. YES, I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT & IT INCLUDES USING THE CAPS LOCK KEY!!!

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  2. Lord have mercy! She needs an editor! I'm sure that an editor could have saved a lot of printing costs, thereby cutting the price of the book by 99%.

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  4. Oh the comments are priceless! I have never laughed so hard - most of them I couldn't read more than a few lines of because I was laughing so hard I couldn't see!

    However, I do believe there must be one from Boaz - the limerick Boaz? No?

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  5. After laughing myself silly at the customer reviews (on the US Amazon site) I had to ponder whether or not this is an inside joke by the Amazon staff, especially after noticing that my suggested PayPhrase is "Nutty Possibility" and that after viewing this item 56% of customers ultimately buy "How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much by Richard Jacob Paperback." But against all odds it seems that this is an actual book, although it is not clear whether anyone has actually purchased it. I suppose it might make an good, if rather expensive, joke gift, but I would hate to encourage the author to grace us with a sequel.

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  6. I know what you mean, Bill. I first saw it on Amazon US and assumed it was a joke posting (if not by Amazon , by someone with an account with them). But, I checked to see if it was on Amazon UK and it was, without any hacker graffiti. So my guess is that it is for real. If it isn't, then kudos to its planter, because the UK listing is an inspired cover.

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  7. Skittles, hee! ;-D

    "ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!"

    I take it Madame Yanne Strong-Anderson is of the Popoid sect?

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  8. "ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!"

    Is she referring to children who will grow up to be priests or children for priests to abuse?

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  9. MS ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON
    IS A NUT CASE, A CAPITAL 'M' MOR-ON!!
    SHE SAYS THROW OUT THEM PILLS
    AND GET BACK TO THE THRILLS
    OF MORE BUBS AND YOUR HUBBY WHORE'N ON!!

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  10. The comments are hilarious! Ditto what Lois Keen said. I still have doubts that this is a real book.

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  11. The Lord came to Lizzy. No con!
    And after instructions, was gone!
    But he soon shook his head
    At the drivel he read
    "Geez! I said put your THINKING cap on!!

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  12. Also ... has anyone noticed that the used copies are more expensive than the new copies?
    9 new from $66.07 3 used from $99.49 in the US.
    I think the whole thing is a hoax.

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  13. The Lord said to Lizzy, "Now, Hun
    I got one more last riff then I'm done.
    'No cussin', no swearin'
    No polyester wearin'
    And no havin' no sex just for fun'.

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  14. Plus that, September 17 is a FRIDAY; not a Wednesday.
    I think someone has had a bit too much single malt Scotch.

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  15. Lois, don't encourage me!

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  16. Oh, Boaz! You've truly outdone yourself with these limericks!

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  17. Wow.

    I feel all sane, all of a sudden.

    I think I'll have to write a reply based on an ancient Chinese philosophy I found in a restaurant here:

    NO CREDIT AVALAIBLE! MUST PAY FOR ALL FOOD!

    PLEASE ENJOY!

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  18. THIS BOOK IS REAL. IT IS NOT A HOAX. BUT THE AUTHOR'S NAME IS A PSEUDONYM. YOU WILL FIND MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG LIVING IN BINGHAMTON, NY, AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT SHE WHO SPURNS BIRTH CONTROL IS DESPERATELY SEEKING A WAY TO SUPPORT HER THIEVING HUSBAND'S MINISTRY.

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  19. P.S. AND IT IS YOUR CHRISTIAN DUTY TO BUY MULTIPLE COPULATIONS OF THIS BOOK.

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  20. Eek!
    Lisa said, "copulation."
    I didn't think Lisa knew any naughty words.

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  21. Hey, MP, what can I say? Desperation for a response drove me to unlikely language.

    But really ... Don't you think the author sounds spookily like Hostilium?

    wv = "natzo" -- I kid you not. Sounds suspiciously like "nutso."

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  22. Lisa,

    Natzo is an insane Nazi - like Glenn Beck's character, or Sarah Palin's reality.

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  23. Thanks for the explanation, Mark. Now it all makes sense.

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